The Bold Soul

Swatches

You might have noticed a few changes around here today. With all the changes taking place in my life, I felt the need to do some spring cleaning of my blog design and give it a fresh coat of paint, so to speak. You know... new life, new look. This year it's all about change for me. I'm making a few adjustments in my business as well and that web site will also be updated accordingly in the next few weeks.

The new color scheme was mostly inspired by a piece of pottery I bought in the Luberon this time last year when I was spending my birthday weekend with my friend Linda and her husband. It's a water pitcher with poppies painted on it as well as hues of green and goldenrod, and it reminded me of the fields of poppies I saw there.

When choosing color swatches, sometimes you just can't beat Mother Nature for inspiration.

I did have one other source of inspiration though. The shades of green are the color of what I hope will be my wedding dress.

Breezes

That sound you hear? The one that sounds like a soft rush of air? The kind of air that comes with a lovely ocean breeze?

That is the sound of me exhaling in contented relief. I get to check three important things off my Wedding To-Do list:

1. I just got off the phone with the innkeeper at a B&B at the Jersey Shore, and we're all booked for two nights with a lovely room that opens onto a big sundeck and has great views of both the ocean and a lake (I had no idea there were actual lakes right at the ocean's edge in New Jersey and I lived there my entire life). The owner was so nice, when she found out we were going to be honeymooners and that we wanted the best view they had, she turned around and offered to let us have their (hers and her husband's) very own master bedroom, which wasn't even listed on their web site but which they are now using on weekends while they renovate a new room in another part of the house. I saw a photo of the room and it's delightful, and we'll get our view. Plus we just liked how "at home" they already made us feel and we aren't even there yet.
2. Georges found the documents that I need to take to the translator for an estimate, so I can go there this week. Very important, these documents, as NJ requires them translated to get the license.
3. And last but not least... I think I found THE DRESS. I went online to every store I could think of in America who carries nice dresses in my size, and Nordstrom once again came through with flying colors. A dress is en route to my mother's house and she will promptly take it to the nearest UPS store. It should be here next week and if it looks as good on me as it looked on the model (who looked about my size) then it's going to be perfect. And it's not red after all... it's a lovely soft spring green. I'll post a photo once I'm sure I'm keeping it. I will still go to a store here in Paris this weekend just to see what else might be out there, but I have a sneaking suspicion I won't need to look any further.

Still more to do but this is REAL progress now. And I even made some real progress on the chapter I had to write for a client.

I think I will sleep well tonight. And dream of soft ocean breezes and the sound of the waves crashing on the beach while we spend our first nights together as husband and wife.

If you need me, I'll be in my OTHER office

Today being a Wednesday, which means no school for our Little Guy and the neighbor's 5-year-old and 1-year-old, and knowing they would be at home with the nanny a good part of the day since it will probably (finally!) rain later, I decided to beat a hasty retreat in order to hopefully get some much-needed work done.

It's a bit of a hike across town for me to come to my "other office", but I love being at my friend Aimee's tea shop, L'Oisive Thé, on rue de la Butte aux Cailles in the 13th. I come early, during the pre-lunch hour, to have a few minutes to chat with my friend while she and her serveuse are doing the daily preparation for lunch and afternoon tea. Coming early means I score a small table in the corner near a window. Good light, a lovely cool breeze, and plenty of room to work (and to drink tea and have some delicious food as well!)

I've visited a few times since the grand opening at the beginning of April: once Georges and I brought the Little Guy here for Sunday brunch, and then a couple of weeks ago I came by with my computer but had problems with my power adaptor and didn't have enough battery life to work, so I had lunch and tea and then had to leave. I've loved watching the little changes Aimee has made to her shop, making it even more charming than it originally was, with her personal little touches like hand-sewn tablecloths, lots of green plants and flowers, and books and magazines to read as well as teas to buy and drink!

Today, though, I'm planning to hang out for a long time, and I've come prepared to work. I desperately need to get some work done. My guilt is palpable, the guilt of knowing clients are waiting for me to deliver things but that I'm having trouble getting myself in gear to do any actual work. As you can see, my writer's block is somewhat selective; writing my own thoughts on my blog is a breeze. It's writing OTHER people's thoughts that requires so much more of my concentration. But then, that's why they pay me the "big (ha) bucks".

I wonder if I'd be this distracted if I wasn't planning a wedding?

Last night I "confessed" (voluntarily) to Georges that lately, when I am claiming I am working, I'm usually not. He being an excellent procrastinator himself (at times), he knows how easy it is to be lured away from the things we need to do by those other things we prefer to do. And since we've met, he's often had the same problems I've had, forcing myself to work when I'd rather just be in our little bubble o' love. We'd rather keep having fun and not have to deal with work. But we're grown-ups, we two, and we have grown-up responsibilities.

So today, I've got a chapter to research and write for one client, and if I get that done and done well, then I move onto editing a first draft manuscript for a second client. Then there's a third client who is waiting on a book proposal. And after that I'm sure there are other things I've promised someone, somewhere.

And now, I work. If you're in the neighborhood today, drop by and say Bonjour and have some of Aimee's homemade cookies or delicious salads, and cup of tea -- of course!

Two month countdown

There came a moment yesterday when I realized it was two months until our wedding day.

TWO MONTHS! There is still a lot to do. Plans are in the works and I feel like some progress is being made, but so far nothing has been completely finalized. Even the B&B we initially chose told us we'd need to book a 3-night minimum in July and we only plan to stay for 2 nights, so it was back to Google to check out the other B&Bs in the area. I'm still waiting for the caterer to give me a quote. Don't even get me started on the fact that when I look at dresses online at my favorite stores back home, I hate nearly everything that is available in my size. And I'm still fuming about the price of the airfares this summer... it seems a shame that we may spend 50% of our wedding budget on plane tickets just to get to the States to get married. That's not even going to be our real honeymoon.

Still... all day yesterday I kept looking at the clock at odd times, and saying things like, "Do you realize two months from this very minute, we'll be waking up and looking at each other and saying 'It's our WEDDING DAY!'?"

Or, "Two months from RIGHT NOW we'll be just two hours from saying 'I do'!"

Or, "By this time, two months from now, we'll already be married and having a wonderful time at our after-party with some champagne."

There is this giddy little part of me that sometimes stops me at whatever I'm doing or thinking, and does a little happy dance inside, shouting, "Married! You're actually getting married!"

I didn't think it was possible to feel giddy at nearly 47. Who knew? Damn, it feels good.

Sunday in the Park with Georges

Blogging to you LIVE from the Parc Monceau (with Georges' iPod Touch and free WiFi courtesy of the city which installed it in most public parks last summer!) where we are picnicking with our neighbor and her kids. 

Ain't technology grand?

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms.

Spinning

This week has been a whirlwind of wedding plans, trying to figure out and organize paperwork to satisfy the French authorities for translation of our American wedding license into the proper French documents, and to top it off, it was a short 3-day work week here in France because there was a national holiday Thursday, another one on Monday, and in between a lot of people take the Friday off to get the full five day mini-break.

Not that we have time to go anywhere right now. Holiday or no holiday, we both have a ton of work to do for our jobs.

Let me start by describing the less pleasant aspects of marrying a French citizen, and I'm totally referring to the quagmire of red tape the French authorities throw at you when you're not a citizen of another E.U. country. First of all, know that it's quicker/easier for us to actually get married (i.e. the ceremony part) in my home state of NJ. In "Joisey", we walk into the town hall with our ID, a witness over 18 with a drivers license, and $28 to apply for our marriage license. Three days later, we get the license and can then be married by anyone in the state who is licensed to perform marriages. No physicals or blood tests required. If we wanted to get married in France, we'd have to do things like provide a document stating that no one in France objects to our marriage, get physicals with letters from doctors, publish "bans" two weeks before, and there's a lot more personal documentation needed. Add to this that my family is in New Jersey and since I won't be seeing them much from now on they deserve to at least see me get married.

Most people think it's the planning of the wedding that makes a bride into a Bride-zilla, but in my case it's what comes AFTER the wedding itself that gets crazy-making. After the ceremony and party at my sister's home, Georges and I will sneak off for two nights to a B&B at the lovely Jersey Shore. So we'll be back on Monday some time. On Tuesday or Wednesday, I will need to pick up our official copies of the wedding license, and of course we need a bunch of those so I can orchestrate name changes on everything from my social security card to my bank accounts, credit cards, and passport.

But the main reason we have to rush to get the license is that we next have to go into New York City to the French Consulate. There, we provide them with the license and all kinds of other documents to prove who we are, and they will generate the French "Acte de Mariage" and the "Livret de Famille", both of which you get when you get married in France. Without them, our marriage will not be recognized in France. We have to go in person to do this and I suspect they will also interview us together and possibly separately to judge whether this is the real deal or a fake. Not that we have any worries on THAT score. If we're lucky we can squeeze in a little sightseeing that same day.

And the main reason we have to get THOSE documents processed so quickly is that soon afterwards, probably the following week, I will have to schedule another appointment for myself alone, at the Consulate, for my long-stay "spouse visa". They need the French marriage documents or it's no go. Fortunately, the other documents they need for the spouse visa are considerably less than what one needs for the regular long-stay visa if one is self-employed and not over here on a work visa, student visa or any other visa (don't even ask, it's not pretty -- check the French Consulate web site near you for the gory details). The big question lurking in my mind about this visa appointment is the turnaround time. I've called twice and been told two radically different things: the first time I called, I was told it could take the same time to process the spouse visa as it would to process a regular long-stay visa, i.e. "up to TWO MONTHS"! Gulp... which would mean I could be separated from Georges that entire time while I wait it out, since he has to come back to Paris for work and the kids after two weeks with me in NJ. The second time I called the consulate, I got a different guy on the phone and a much nicer answer: if all documents are in order, I can get the visa the same day. This jives with the information I dug up on their web site. I need to call them a third time to confirm which it is so I can plan other things, like a return plane ticket!

The main reason I need this visa is that the laws changed in 2006, and now when you get married to a French person *whether in France or elsewhere, and you're not an EU citizen, you must get a spouse visa in order to come back to France and apply for the carte de séjour, which in turn leads to permanent residency and/or citizenship. It's like playing connect-the-dots, where every dot you connect leads to another dot and in order to reach the finish line, you need ALL the dots connected or you lose. And "losing" is not an option!

So you can imagine, I'm sure, that the paperwork aspects of this are leaving me rather stressed out. My head is spinning.

But then there's the FUN part of the wedding planning. Even though this is going to be a very small wedding, there are still a lot of details to take care of. I spent about 90 minutes on the phone with a good caterer I know (Country Picnic) giving them the info so they can give me a quote, and we can nail down the details and cross THAT off the list. And checking out wedding night accommodations was also fun, and at least I've got that narrowed down to 3 possible choices after over four hours of research (maybe I'll run a blog contest to let you all vote for your favorite).

Last but not least there is managing the costs. The airfares are unbelievable (and I mean that in a bad way), given that it's summer and what fuel prices are going for. Our two plane tickets will probably cost more than the entire wedding AND the cost of all the immigration paperwork put together, that's how bad it is. I found out yesterday that if we fly Continental, they're the cheapest, but if we fly on Monday morning instead of Sunday we can save nearly $500 USD PER PERSON, and that's HUGE. So we're going to fly on Monday, arrive around lunchtime in NJ, race to my mother's place and pick her up as our witness, and go to the town hall get the wedding license the very first thing.

I feel like the Road Runner, only he never seems to run out of steam, and I'm exhausted.

But I still can't stop smiling. Especially when I am sitting here blogging, and Georges is sitting across from me at the kitchen table, and he says, "I love you"... for no reason other than he does.

Fanning the flames of love

Reading this post just now reminded me of the rather unusual thing that happened on Friday night while MY FIANCÉ (sorry to put that in all caps but I'm not bored with saying it yet) was presenting me with my lovely ENGAGEMENT RING (saying that hasn't gotten old yet, either).

Georges took me to a very good Vietnamese restaurant near Abbesses. We got there before the dinner rush and got a table in a corner with a little bit of privacy but still with a view of the street outside. About half way through our main course, the restaurant started to fill up, when suddenly a very unusual couple came in: two gay men, one of whom weighed at least 300 lbs and was completely done up in a rather flamboyant drag. (Sad to say, considering the amount of effort that had clearly gone into his choice of outfit and makeup, he didn't make a very attractive woman and I suspect that under the many layers of pancake makeup that did little to hide his 5 o'clock shadow, he probably wasn't a very attractive man, either. But I digress.) The other man was more androgynous-looking in a 1970s-era beige corduroy jacket, pants and matching cap, but a man nonetheless.

It took them a few moments to choose where they were going to sit, apparently requiring some debate between them, and they ultimately chose the table directly next to ours. Other than periodically sneaking a sideways glance at them (it was obvious they wanted to be noticed), I did as I normally do when surrounded by French-speaking people who aren't speaking to me: I tuned out their conversation and focused on being with the man I love. I found out later from Georges that the drag queen was saying to his friend that he didn't like going to restaurants in certain parts of Paris like the 6ème, because inevitably -- and here's where I thought he would say that people made fun of him for his appearance and lifestyle -- men were always hitting on him.

OK. Whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day, I guess.

We ate such a good meal that I was rather full and could have easily skipped dessert, but Georges seemed to want to try something exotic, so we agreed to share a banana flambéed with rum. Georges, for some reason, got up to go talk to the owner about making it, even though it was on the menu, but I didn't think a whole lot about it at the time. I had never had a flambéed banana so I thought it would be an interesting choice.

When the dessert arrived, it was a very large banana that had been dipped in some batter and pre-fried so that it was kind of puffed up, which made it really, really huge-looking. Uh... quite impressive, actually. In fact, the couple next to us seemed VERY impressed by it, because they laughed and the dramatic one said to his less dramatic friend, "Ça te rappelle quelque chose?" (Does that remind you of something?)

After setting the banana on fire, the waiter brought out two glasses of champagne and I thought how sweet that was for Georges to order champagne to go with the flambée. He's very good at making normal, every day moments very special.

Except this turned out not to be a normal, everyday moment. Because after the flames went out (on the banana), he reached into his right coat pocket and pulled out a little box, all wrapped in shiny gold paper and gold ribbon. He placed the box in front of me, and smiled, the love and the fire in his eyes so evident as always. I started to cry a little but for once, was able to contain myself so the other customers wouldn't have to see me go into my "ugly cry". And I opened the box.

Later that night, as we were curled up in bed together rehashing our evening and I was doing what women usually do in these situations -- holding my hand up in the light to admire the ring, of course (what did you think I meant?) -- Georges told me that when he presented me with the ring and I put it on, the thinner of the two men at the other table said something else:

"Je rêve qu'il m'arrive la même chose." I dream the same thing will happen to me.

I truly hope he gets his wish someday, because everyone deserves such a magical moment, to have the person he/she loves plan such a special evening with a perfect finale. Even if it does come with an overweight transvestite à côté. Because you can't plan everything. And I wouldn't have had it any other way.

We are definitely going back to that restaurant again.

Like the sparkle in his eyes when he asked me

He surprised me with this last night, at the end of a very lovely dinner out. It's perfect for me, simply perfect. And today, when we took the ring to get resized (just a tiny bit small), we also picked out our wedding bands, and order our names and the date engraved.

No turning back now... as if we'd want to.

The Lusty Month of May

It's May in Paris! Go forth and be lusty. Kiss with your amoureux or amoureuse in public places -- go ahead, no one will care! Do as you will.

I wonder if it means anything that my birthday is in May? Does that make me lustier than people born in other months?

*Clip from Lerner & Lowe's Camelot. Vanessa Redgrave can't carry a tune to save her life sings like a casserole, and for this I might apologize, but I didn't cast her.

Well, THAT didn't take long...

... for the "Bridal Insomnia" to kick in, I mean. Last night, I absolutely could NOT get any decent amount or quality of sleep. I went to bed around 11pm, a very respectable, healthy hour. And despite Georges being next to me, throwing off his furnace-level central loving body heat, I could not get warm and comfortable for over two hours. I know this because I kept looking at the clock as it passed 23:30... 00:00 (midnight)... 1:15.

Then, of course there are all the wedding details jostling around in my head. I'm about 90% sure this is the major reason I wasn't sleeping -- there is just a lot going on and I'm in hyper-drive. Because of the time difference, I am also having to make many necessary phone calls to the States in the evenings, and last night I talked to both the caterer and the French Consulate within an hour of trying to wind down to go to sleep. So that certainly didn't help my brain relax.

And for some strange reason, (get ready for Too Much Information) I had to get up to pee about five times last night, way more than my usual average of 1-2 times. This is not exactly conducive to a good night's rest, and hopefully I didn't wake Georges up in the process because there's no reason for both of us to be without sleep.

Last and definitely least, I had a song stuck in my head. Well, two of them, actually... both of them loud, energizing songs from Sister Act 2 which I had been watching earlier in the day. I love a good gospel choir, really I do - but NOT in my head at 3:37 am! And they're both still there this morning, alternating with each other, vying for what little bit of my mental energy is left after that LONG sleepless night.

I could have gone back to sleep after Georges left for work this morning but my brain was already revved up into high gear. However, it is now 10:19am and I am feeling the bed calling my name. I think I will need a little lunch-time sieste... before I start calling numbers on the US Embassy's list of official translators to inquire about getting certain of our papers translated into one language or the other.

I only hope it's not going to be like this for the next two months or my wedding photos are going to show me with big dark circles and bags under my eyes. Not at all the "glowing bride" look I would be going for.

Our week in Paradise

I have actually managed to get most of the photos uploaded to Flickr, from our week on the French Riviera. [NOTE: These are the public photos only... if you're on my friends & family list, I'll be creating a separate Flickr set for the family photos and will let you know when they're ready.]

In the meantime, enjoy this look into what we did on our April vacation in the sunny south (besides deciding, officially, to get married)!

Zoo 'appy to zee you

One afternoon last week, we took the Little Guy to one of his favorite spots near Saint Raphael: the Frejus Zoological Park. Thought you might enjoy a break from all the mushy love stuff (or maybe not?) so here are a few of my favorite pix from that day:

This friendly little (by elephantine standards) pachyderm enjoyed the treats we tossed to him so much that when we waved goodbye, he waved right back!

Love the hair, dude!

I tried to get him to smile for me, but this hippo is too hip to get excited at every camera-toting tourist who comes along.

Beautiful tiger. And I was glad for the very high fence between us.

Frogs and snails and prairie dog tails? These industrious little guys aren't French, though... nope, they were imported from the American southwest, just another group of tourists who came to France and then never left.

A week of nearly wedded bliss

One week ago today, my life changed forever, and so did Georges', because he asked me to marry him. Which is a very pleasant surprise -- feeling like something has changed in this way -- considering we pretty much knew we were heading in this direction after the first week of our relationship, and started actually discussing it out loud after the first month. Some people think six months is "too soon" to be planning a wedding, but when you're "of a certain age" I think you should be given some credit for knowing yourselves and what's right for you. And we've known this was a done deal for a very long time.

So it's really funny how this little ritual of asking and affirming has taken our relationship to an even deeper level. There are things we are still learning about each other after "only" six months, of course. For instance, he didn't know that in my family, I'm called "Lee" instead of "Lisa", and he discovered this after listening to me call my sister to tell her the news, and saying "Hi, it's Lee". I don't even think much about it, but there are only three people on earth that call me this: my mother, my sister, and now my brother-in-law who seems to have picked up the family habit after being around us for over 20 years.

Yet every day this past week, we keep having these frequent moments of stopping whatever we happen to be doing, and just looking into each other's eyes, and then saying something like, "My bride" or "Mon mari" as we try our new titles on for size. Friday night we attended a friend's wedding and I got to introduce Georges as my fiancé for the first time, and don't think THAT wasn't a real trip!

To fill in some of the blanks for those of you who have asked or wondered:

• Yes, I answered his question in both French and English. Since he asked me in both languages I thought it was only fair, although I think the most French I could manage in that moment, through my happy tears, was "Oui, mon coeur".
• We will be married on Saturday, July 12th, at my sister's home in New Jersey. Very small, intimate gathering of about 20-30 family and close friends with a relaxed party afterward.
• A very good friend of mine is going to officiate. This makes it extra special as neither Georges nor I are religious, so we don't want to have it at an actual church... but my friend is an ordained interfaith minister and will custom-design the ceremony with us.
• Since we are doing the official bit in New Jersey and none of our French/Parisian family and friends can be there, we are planning to do a party of some kind in September after summer holidays are over. I'm hoping to video the ceremony so we can show it at this party.
• We will do the vows in both English and French, though. My friend has a very good French accent so she'll have no problem helping us pull this off.
• I do not plan to wear white, or even off-white. And no big formal poofy merengue-type thing, either... it's just not me and at 47 there is no reason to act the princess. If I can find the right dress, I'm thinking of wearing red, and something low-cut. a dress I can wear out to another occasion some time. I already bought the shoes though (photos to follow)!

There are many more details to work on so I"ll share as we go along. In the meantime, I'm going back into our little bubble for a while, where life feels wonderful, and love just grows and grows.

Market Day

I love the open air markets you will find in every city and village in France. The spice vendor's display is so colorful and smells incredible!

Strawberries and white asparagus are in season! Yum!

So are the local small melons which taste so much better than the big cantaloupes I was used to eating in America.

And yes, it was one of these very melons that Georges "dropped" before asking me to marry him. He says this is probably the last photo I took before officially becoming a bride-to-be!

It's a hard life, but somebody's got to live it

Blue skies over the marina in Saint Tropez... parking for your big yacht is over to the right. Designer shops about two blocks over.

Or perhaps you'd prefer Cannes, where the big film festival takes center stage here every May, and where you can shop at Fred and Cartier while strolling on the beach-front promenade. Not too shabby.

 

For my money, I'd rather have something in between... a bit more secluded, with an incredible view and a pool.